My apology for not updating my blog for the past few days.

I've been thinking through and i still cant figure out the answer to my questions.
Or maybe as day go by,maybe..just maybe the answers which I'm looking for will be revealed.
Curiosity deepens my heart and soul.
Its so hard to get out of this fantasy but
I really wanna get back on track to the reality.
Cause i missed screening through humans thinking for whats best to do and not to
Or am i the only one not thinking wisely
Or am i the one dwelling too much on Unnecessary issues?
why all this questions pops out of my pathetic pinky brain?
Maybe cause i care too much
maybe cause i need u too
maybe i felt Ur a part of me now
just maybe we have split personalities
you shall not punk me out
cause if u ever do
assume its the worst sleepless nights
that u'll be facing
for now I'm done on my doubtful entry

Labels: i hope u know what u are doing

3:30 PM love like there's no tomorrow

here it goes...



&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
harloo.. u noe maner nk carik tk friendster nyer layout?
iqah says:
something like pimp my profile
iqah says:
i dont really knw
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
ouhhok
iqah says:
hey..
iqah says:
erm..
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
yes darl?
iqah says:
i was thinking of talking things out with mariam..
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
hmmm...
iqah says:
u think its a good idea?
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
hmm.. before that, wad do u wanna tell her sweetheart?
iqah says:
i dont know
iqah says:
i just want to try my luck..
iqah says:
i miss her
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
aww...
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
hmm.. i tink before u start confronting her, u shud tink of a decent conversation
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
its been so long, since u both been talking..
iqah says:
im not confronting her
iqah says:
its just a talk
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
i mean i support it, if u wanna patch up back..
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
hmmm.... how bout starting wif a normal convo...?
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
or do u wan me to ask her?
iqah says:
its is gonna be a normal convo
iqah says:
its ok..
iqah says:
i shall do it myself
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
good lucks darl
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
i won tell her den
iqah says:
u think its a good thing to do?
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
hmm.... yupp.. it is..
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
follow ur heart
iqah says:
how u think she will react uh?
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
hmm.. seriously... i tink she'll freak out
iqah says:
why?
iqah says:
i mean im gonna be the one making the first move i guess
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
yup... i noe...
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
she'll feel awkward, becuz u both da lamer tk bobal...
iqah says:
we can always starts it new..
iqah says:
well nothing is impossible?
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
of cosh
iqah says:
dont u like us together back?
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
anythin can happen.trust me
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
aww.. i'd love to see u both back being frends
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
honest
iqah says:
serious?
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
serious..
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
but lyk i said, she'll be abit freak out... jux go wif e flow
iqah says:
its ok atleast i try
iqah says:
if she doesnt want
iqah says:
its ok..
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
im sure, she'll be ok wif it
iqah says:
at least she will knw i still have a fresh mememory of our good days
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
yeahh....she'll be reminded of e best times u both had together
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
ur friendship wif her was REAL.... dun u worry
iqah says:
ouhok..
iqah says:
thanks
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
no prob!....
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
oh ya GOOD LUCK hunney
iqah says:
haha
iqah says:
ok
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
Hehe
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
i nk buat new friendster.. but jux for my frens lyk u and e others.. hehe!
iqah says:
ouhok..
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
erm.. raf.. can i ask sumthng?
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
no offence
iqah says:
yeah?
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
ur not against her wif rreys anymore rite?..
iqah says:
neh..it doesnt matter anymore..im up to make good with me n her not him..
iqah says:
so yeahh
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
great darling....
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
i doa doakan ur frenship can start anew..
iqah says:
i was only angry when u told me that he said it was bcoz of me..
iqah says:
remember the msg in class whereby i didnt not get to read?
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
yupyup... they hv their own opinions
iqah says:
n u read it?
iqah says:
and he said it will be me who will cause they breakup?
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
i dun tink tis thing will come up again
iqah says:
how come?
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
cuz u guys, r more matured now
iqah says:
oh really?
iqah says:
how come u just realise it now?
iqah says:
it was so long ago that i start to think maturedly
iqah says:
kan?
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
but u werent clox anymor babe
iqah says:
clox?
iqah says:
means?
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
slose
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
close
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
haha.. sorry!..
iqah says:
orh
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
rite?
iqah says:
everyone was too busy to even notice i've changed
iqah says:
aint i right.
iqah says:
or couldnt even be bothered
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
eh eh.. lets not get carried away here...
iqah says:
haha
iqah says:
no..
iqah says:
fact
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
hehhe..
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
we did care
iqah says:
oh really?
iqah says:
i thought i was the only one who cared about u n sukh
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
we wanted to noe wad ur results were n stuff lyk tt...but see, ur real close to ur otha frens..
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
we tot , u forgotten bout us oso..
iqah says:
me forgot abt u?
iqah says:
n the rest
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
ntahh
iqah says:
fat hope uh sia
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
u did care?..
iqah says:
oh no i did care at all..of course uh
iqah says:
i do
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
well we did too..
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
n see, ur all up to sec5.. same class lagik.. lets not waste tis chance
iqah says:
sayang la..ur not in the same klass as us now
iqah says:
if not
iqah says:
u can also see me together back with mariam
iqah says:
:)
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
yupyup.. it'll be so nice to see new friendship blooming again...
iqah says:
aha
iqah says:
ok
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
hehe
iqah says:
u not goin out?
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
nope..sakit kpala uh nowdays... haizz
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
u?
iqah says:
nope..
iqah says:
got lots of work to do..
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
sec5 work huh?
iqah says:
yah
iqah says:
tak kan relationship work kan
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
eehehe.. hu noes?
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
haha
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
even i haven found a new guy
iqah says:
aaha..dont need to find la..
iqah says:
someone will come
iqah says:
for me
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
thanks..=))
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
for u?
iqah says:
thats how i think la..
iqah says:
i dont not la for u pulak how
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
im hopin sum1 wil emerge
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
haaha
iqah says:
ahah
iqah says:
it all takes time..
&& _ Hell Yeahh ' ___ ^^ A Nobody is Loved By NoBody ... But Hey,,, i'm Too [[ Fly To be Depressed ]] says:
yaa

so here it ends our conversation.I have doubts with her but i dont intend to clear it with her cause i dont see the need to do so cause i only trust myself.well...i dont want anything to go hay wired just because of your presence.Reys,i am sorry for the past things and the jugdement made by me but now the thing i have to do is get things back to the way it should.do you support me decison reys?I'll SCRAM anyone if u get in my way.so hands off my friendship if it doesnt concerns u.thank you.i believe i made it clear and im proud of myself to make this fantastic speech if it were to be read to many on stage.Round of applause!mariam do keep track of my updates ok..and u will realise who ur true friends are. = )

5:53 PM love like there's no tomorrow

Had a tiring day yesterday and slept whole afternoon after meeting yan in the morning.Well...today i was browsing through my email and this is what i found...


I have nothing much to say,indeed. I just need to clarify few things with you. I've heard about your blog thingy and infact,i have read them. I know im wrong and now its time for me to stand up for myself although i know where my position is. The way you are telling people about your past relationship with me,and by putting my pictures in your blog makes me feel uncomfortable. Its like you are telling others that i am notorious. I was livid for a moment but i came to realise in mind that you have the right to do so as we are all free to do whatever we want in life. Firstly,i have nothing against you. I know i've did numerous amount of mistakes to you and took sadistic pleasure in hurting you. And,i have deserved my eternal damnation. I have tried to perfect our friendship but eveytime i did,i failed. It gets worse and that is where i get so mentally exhausted,i no longer cared. I know with the presence of the third party,our friendship turns out to be the way it is now. But please dont blame him for this. Blame me instead. I dont blame you either. Blame me for eveything,please. I decided to leave this friendship,of my own accord. Not because im being forced by him. We just cant be together like the way we used to. Furthermore,even if we were to get back together,it wont be the same and it will be back to square one. You dont need me by the way. Im incorrigible. Bury all the memories that we had and move on with your new chapter of life. Just let bygone be bygone.



email from her.
she doesnt want the friendship anymore..so what can i do?suggestions?anyone?k anyone gives counselling?cause i need them now..

Labels: i use to be someone u cared so much and now u tell me that u no longer care...well u made the choice..for all i know i've long forgiven u.

4:42 PM love like there's no tomorrow

why?who?when?where?

I'm a little bit moody and everybody expect things to be perfect.Dad is driving me crazy.why so?he thinks his always right.He shouts at me now and then.I'm truly hurt that's why I'm crying.he accuse me of drinking early in the morning yesterday,it really pissed me.So i pack school bag and went off to school very early.I felt that every second is a torture for me to live.

Isn't a bit too much to be accuse of drinking?I've quit drinking a long time ago.yes, i did but Ive quit.Dad gets mad at me for being rude today but i cant help it. I'm still hurt of the accusation he had towards me.I'm having mix feelings now and i wish i can just dump everything here.It's too much too handle.Somehow i want to run from it but it keep coming.therefore tears keep rolling down my cheeks.I'm not good in expressing my feelings.It s got to be easy then this,can it?

cousin wedding ceremony today gotta get ready now.I hope for only the best out of me even if the tantrum that I'm throwing at dad.Everyone is not perfect. FUCK.

12:58 PM love like there's no tomorrow

Gosh! We had like 2 hours of free period today as MRS TE and MS CHIOW didnt attend school today.PE lesson was a free period to me also. Where the hell is mrs Te?Im waiting for my english paper.This common test i failed badly.I wasn't fully prepared or studied for it.I've scored 10/50 for chemistry,18/50 for physics,8/40 for maths,3/25 for history and 10/25 for social studies.So far i've only passed two subjects which is Mother Tongue which i've encountered 12/20 and ART 56/100.Overall...BAD!Got to buck up.On 12 March,I'll be having malay oral!!!Its really terrifying coz i dont usually communicate in malay with my friends.In our conversations,its always a mixture of Eng,malay and chinese.In malay they call it 'rojak'.It hits me back to what i've been doing all this while.It seems to be that effort needs to be put to work to achieve better encouraging results.muhd hairun fahmy bin sakroni just crossed my mind a couple of times this few hours.i guess im missing him alot.Anybody can guide me through?I'm having difficulties to understand certain things and even if i study i dont understand the question, as in what the are asking for.I'm a total lost soul in science and maths.I've never pass science since primary 3.Yeah like WAHHHH P3 seyy...

Labels: i love yan and i love joey and i love you guys out there haha k i want to eat my dinner

8:26 PM love like there's no tomorrow

Who?What?Why?When?

who am i to you?
what am i to do?
why is it this way?
when will it end?

no idea

i want,i need, i love,i cherish and i know it wun't come true
but why am i still thinking of-
should i or shouldnt i talk to you?
truth is i don't know how am i able to handle you.
in fact others are looking at us
missing us together,to see us encounter this through
which why they want us true

to say-to see-to feel how hard is it to deal

so why keep it inside?let it out babe
cause i will most likely to be there looking after you.cause what matter most is that i love you.

Labels: come back will you ?cause i am true

10:40 PM love like there's no tomorrow